MEET THYSELF

A practical journey to self discovery

At the core of every human being is the need and desire to be loved and appreciated. But before cultivating external friendships, it is vital that you start by cultivating a healthy and thriving friendship with yourself, be your best friend first. Besides, you can never have a nearly perfect relationship with anyone, until you have had one with yourself. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves. Many people have struggled to build genuine relationships not because they are bad people but because they are yet to have healthy self-relationships.

Ask yourself, Am I my best friend? Can I stand myself? If I met me at a function, would I want to engage me in a conversation? Would I want to take me out for coffee? As idealistic and even amusing as it may sound, it is a line of thinking that we should consider taking every once in a while. Then we can start to fully understand and embrace ourselves for who we are.

This is practical journey to self discovery gently prepares you to understand, listen and celebrate the person you are, ultimately giving you a better chance at genuine relationships where you can share yourself without losing sight of your identity.

Meet yourself

As with any first meeting, you may be shy, even anxious at the thought of coming face to face with yourself. You may fidget a little under the table and want to comment on superficial things such as the weather. Feelings may vary from excitement to vulnerability, the thought of calling off the meeting constantly on your mind. Often people are afraid to get in touch with their true self, afraid of the unknown, afraid that they will not like themselves any better. They are afraid to meet their imperfections and dysfunctions. They unconsciously hide behind the busyness of life such as careers, academics, parenting and so on. Others get behind the crowd and get immersed in social and anti social activities, losing their true identity. The challenge is to be bold enough to come out of the cocoon and meet yourself, discover your true self, shed off every layer that you have been hiding under, reveal your true identity to a point where you can genuinely look at yourself in the eye and say ‘it’s a pleasure to finally meet you’

Listen to yourself

Take time to listen to your life. The feedback you get from your daily experiences gives you a good opportunity to get to know yourself better. In a fast paced world, it is easy for you to go round in circles for a long time, unaware of the cries or laughter within. Randolph, a mountaineer had his leg amputated shortly after coming down the Himalayas. A small pebble had slipped into his boot and slowly eaten into his foot, causing it to swell up and develop an infection. Due to the excitement of the excursion and the determination to reach the peak, he ignored the pain and continued climbing. The low temperatures also numbed his foot and eased the pain a little but when he finally got down and removed his shoe; his right foot was completely dead. As he lay down on his hospital bed after a two hour surgery, all he could say was ‘I wish I had listened’. Stop and listen to your heartbeat. Listen to what you are saying and even more keenly to what you are not saying.

• Listen to your silent emptiness; it’s the voice of your inner quest for fulfillment.
• Listen to your joy; it’s a sign of something you need to cultivate
• Listen to your pain; it’s a sign of something that you need to correct.
• Listen to your dreams and hopes; it’s a sign of something you need to pursue
• Listen to your fears; it’s a sign of something you need to confront.

Understand yourself

Fellowship is the strength of a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the stronger your friendship becomes. The same principle applies to self relationships. The more time you spend alone, thinking, planning, imagining, the more you get to understand yourself. To help you achieve quality personal time, the first step is to regularly isolate yourself from the crowd and turn off every external noise. Develop a self concept document. Write everything you can about yourself; your strengths, weakness, hopes, dreams, feelings, frustrations and aspirations. Whatever you find, do not back away from the process, remember you are trying to understand who you are so that you can relate better with yourself. Look at the document and determine what habits need to go, what needs to be strengthened and what needs to be learned. Understanding yourself is a process, the more you spend time alone with God, the more get to know who you are.

Celebrate yourself

You have been beating yourself for far too long, putting yourself down, feeling and thinking that you do not measure up. It’s time to celebrate you. Celebrate the person that God created; celebrate your personality, your uniqueness, your potential and your strengths. Celebrate the bat ears and the wide beautiful eyes alike. You too are special, you have self worth. Appreciating who you are and not wanting to be someone else is a wonderful gift to yourself. Let the world know and see the real you, no one else suits your place.

Share yourself

You have something special to share, may be you have time, a special skill, money or ideas, someone out there will greatly benefit from them. Science agrees with the spiritual truth that people who share themselves are happier than those who don’t. It’s ironical how selfless people live a fulfilling happy life while selfish people live an empty life. Share yourself by investing time, resources and energy in people. As you do so, more of you will be revealed. You will be surprised at how much precious treasure is locked within you.