'I AINT MAD AT YA!!!'

              

                 Celebrating the Love of God
I was greatly inspired by Joyce Meyers teaching this afternoon. She was emphasizing on the importance of knowing for sure that God is not mad at us. We sometimes take ourselves on guilt trips when we feel we have failed God but forget that he does not love us for our great deeds but because of one fact, we are his children, the apple of his eye, his beloved.

When a baby takes his or her first steps, we celebrate and tell our friends and relatives. When the baby falls on the third or fourth step, do we jeer? No,we help them up again while our focus remains on the victory more than the failure. We remain optimistic. God does the same with us. He and his Host in Heaven celebrate our victory and lift us up when we fail. He does not say, aaaaahhhh.....You fell!!! and puts on a sad face. He loves us when we are up and when we are down and that is sure recipe to propel towards been better everyday.

Next time you are feeling unworthy, guilty, or even unloved, tell yourself this words, ' He loves me with an everlasting love' and step back into the game. He sure is pleased when we acknowledge his undying love for us. He ain't mad at you

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

A STEP TOWARDS PERSONAL GROWTH AND ADVANCEMENT
 
Do you feel like you have been round the same mountain so many times you have mastered every curve, steep and shrub? Do you long to get ahead but something seems to hold you back?  Have you ever considered that YOU could be your greatest obstacle to a better more fulfilling life? Take a personal inventory and find out. There are many ways in which people stand on their own way and on the way of God’s blessings. In this article, I highlights six effective ways designed to steer you out of your own way and create room for your personal growth and advancement.
 
Drop the Negative Attitude
The saying is true; when life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. Try to make the best out of every situation that comes your way. Do not go through life looking on the down side. Do not have phrases like ‘bored to death’ or ‘life sucks’ as your favourite posts on Facebook and Tweeter. No matter the circumstances, try as much as possible to put on a positive attitude. Think about it; a negative attitude will only draw to you negative circumstances, pessimistic people and lots of unpleasant experiences, but with the right attitude, you can turn around the greatest odds set against you. Remember, your attitude determines your altitude.
 
Leave Past Failures in the Past
Do not allow your past failures to dictate your present or future aspirations. Dump them like a tattered piece of cloth and put on a brand new day. Avoid using your life’s side mirror too much as it shows you where you are coming from, befriend the windscreen, it shows you where you are headed in a ‘wide’ way, just as long as it is the right way. Let your dreams and hopes thrive within the matrix of new possibilities, not a regretful yesterday. Most important, learn from your mistakes. Remember, success is built on a heap of failures.
 
Clean up your Act
Kick out habits that clog mental and spiritual clarity and compromise emotional stability. Things like alcohol, infidelity and other forms of immoral behaviour corrupt your judgement and make you unprepared for life’s opportunities and challenges. Replace such habits with good ones. Use your time wisely focusing on important life aspects. Seek to discover your purpose and pursue it. Integrate spiritual and emotional intelligence into your daily program and build meaningful relationships. Prepare yourself to receive the best.
 
Pop up Power Thoughts
Pause for a moment and think about what you are thinking about.  Are your thoughts negative and hopeless communicating ideals that are contrary to your inner desires? Do they agree with what God says about you? Make effort to consciously reject and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Find out from the Bible what God says about you, your situations and your loved ones and choose to think on those truths. Philippians 4: 8 is a good place to start. Do it relentlessly until you achieve mastery of your thought patterns. With time you will reap the fruits of positive thinking and find yourself achieving so much more in life.
 
Change your Lingo 
Are you speaking a dead language? Do you use negative words to water down your positive desires? Phrases such as ‘I will never make it’ ‘things are hard’ ‘am not good enough’ have been known to keep people down for years. Words carry enough power to shape your world or destroy it. How will you use yours? I encourage you yo start choosing words that light up your spirit and soul and build hope in you and others.  Remember, life and death is in the power of the tongue; your words have the power to keep you wedged or liberated.
 
Stir up the Nest
When the time comes for the young eagle to leave the nest, the mother eagle turns the fluffy warm nest into a prickly cold one, by removing the feathers and replacing with thorns. Harsh as it may seem, mother eagle lovingly does so to steer the young ones out of the nest and into their destiny. If you find that you are in a comfort zone, determine to stir it up yourself. For instant, if you are excessively dependent on others or life is been spoon-fed to you, break off and face the real world. Remember, necessity is the mother of invention; when you are on your own, you will be surprised at how much you can achieve. Besides, it is a perfect opportunity to find out what God equipped you with.

REGINA'S AHA MOMENT!

AN EARNEST SEARCH FOR LIFE'S DEEPER MEANING 

The air was heavy with the fragrance of fresh roses and carnation. Red and white rose petals spread out on the fluffy warm carpet, mimicking a romantic setting. The center piece for each table was a long slim glass vase with tulips planted in white wool. Small and beautifully wrapped gift boxes sat next to the vases completing the elegant display on the neatly draped tables and comfy seats.

Her name was Regina, a stylishly dressed lady in her early thirties, quite talkative as I came to appreciate later. ‘Petal Art’ was her dream-child, an exhibition that showcased the best in flower design and arrangement. She was successfully hosting it for the third year and tonight was the launch dinner. Tomorrow, hundreds of enlisted designers would fill the hall and for the next three days give the eager public a spectacular show presaging floral art.

Having treated my palate to luxurious elegance and exotic food, it was time to have my tete a tete with her; my editor was counting on this piece to complete the lifestyle pullout. We chose the terrace, less crowded and cool. ‘A beautiful event it is’ I said in a congratulatory manner as we took our seats. ‘Thank you’ she responded. ‘Am looking forward to the main event, I have been dreaming about this one all year’ she added beckoning a waiter to serve a hot chocolate. ‘And you are a dreamer, which is why am here. Tell me more’ I said, leaning over to take in every word and capture every expression. She smiled warmly muttered something under her breath then began her life story ‘I worked as a quality control manager for one of the leading flower companies in the country. The terms were great coupled with trips to various export destinations. Then I was fresh from college, young and single. Sometime after marriage, I started longing for something deeper, something that was true to me, something that I could do even if there was no dime to it. I longed to express myself using my gift in design and decor more than my academic qualifications. As a child, I had always looked forward to Christmas for one main reason – decorating the house. Such memories suddenly become a fixation. I found myself taking every opportunity to decorate and arrange things’. She paused to sip more of her chocolate and then continued.

‘My passion for decorating was bursting out and I was truly enjoying every moment that I was able to express it. On the other hand, my job had slowly become a lug. I literally dragged myself to work. I tried finding a balance. Was there a possibility that I could enjoy both? I would ask myself. After months of struggle, I took my leave, perhaps it would help if I reflected on things away from work. What awaited me was beyond my wildest imagination.

Stella a close friend ran an event company majoring in wedding supplies. She invited me to meet a couple that needed her services and then have our monthly chit chat over lunch. The couple took us through their requirements, which at that point I thought were over the edge. They paid a deposit and left. As soon as they were out of sight, Stella buried her head into her hands and sighed. I asked her what the matter was. ‘I have double booked’ she answered. Then, without any warning, she gave me the notes she had taken and said excitedly, ‘your event’ I tried resisting, reminding her that it was a real wedding and I was inexperienced. ‘Rey, I have seen how well you decorate. You will be just fine’ she said and closed the subject by moving on to something else. Regina paused for a moment and laughed heartily on remembering how bland her lunch suddenly tasted despite it being her favourite meal. Then she carried on.

‘That was the beginning of sleepless nights. I turned and tossed, dreamed of falling tents and black roses. My husband was supportive, though I caught him laughing at my nightmares a few times. He however believed I would do it and even promised to help. I prepared as much as I could, wedding-crashed once and researched online.

On the morning of the wedding, my heart was racing so fast one would mistake me for the bride. A cocktail of feelings run through me - of excitement, fear and furious at Stella for been so calm wherever she was. With a team of six sent in by Stella and my husband, we started decorating the cars. My confidence mounted with every stunningly decorated car; my creative juices replaced the fear. I now boldly looked forward to decorating the venue.

It was a perfectly manicured garden, a calm oasis away from the city with a crystal clear pond and a big old fashioned mansion. We set up the tents and draped the seats and tables in black and fuchsia. Each table had a centerpiece, a beautiful bouquet of roses and carnation held together by a glittering fuchsia piece. My team skillfully arranged the flowers in elegantly designed metal flower stands all around the tents as I went to do the cake gazebo which was my favourite spot.

Fresh pink roses in an elegant flower vase, beautiful china and stainless steel, sparkling wine glasses loosely strapped with chic white lace, scented candles, beautifully conceived draping, trumpeting angels! It was glorious.

‘And as we drove away, leaving behind a breathtaking panorama crowned by the golden warmth of the mid- morning sun, I prayed that this sight would bring a smile to the bride and groom and etch a sweet memory in the petals of their heart. My own heart resonated with a song –Born for this by Mandisa. I needed no further convincing; I had found my place in the circle of life. I wanted to look for Stella and give her an everlasting hug!’

Regina paused again to sip her chocolate which was now cold. She had this expression in her face that communicated how passionate she was about her work. I waited eagerly to hear the rest of the story. She continued.

‘My husband knew too well where I was with this experience. With one hand on the steering, he reached out and squeezed mine. I squeezed him back, desperately holding back tears. He offered to help draft my resignation letter; he knew how terrible I was at that. My resignation would shock my employer as it would our finances temporarily, but somehow we felt prepared to make sacrifices. For the first time in a long long time, I felt completely exhilarated. I felt right and peaceful and renewed. It was my time to seize the moment and build my dream. There was no turning back, somehow, I knew it was going to work; it was going to be a success’

Regina’s eyes were watery, the passion in her voice an indication of how dear the path she had followed was to her. I reached out and passed her a pocket tissue; she wiped away the tear in the middle of a giggle, sipped from her refreshed cup of chocolate and then continued with gusto. ‘Knowing and pursuing this dream brought so much joy and fulfilment in my life. The possibilities and the opportunities are immense. I am in utter bliss! I am a better person because of it. I believe wholly that God created me to display his ever so beautiful mind. In the words of Danish thinker Søren Kierkegaard: The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wants me to do; the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live or die. Event décor is that thing for me’ Regina wrapped up.

MEET THYSELF

A practical journey to self discovery

At the core of every human being is the need and desire to be loved and appreciated. But before cultivating external friendships, it is vital that you start by cultivating a healthy and thriving friendship with yourself, be your best friend first. Besides, you can never have a nearly perfect relationship with anyone, until you have had one with yourself. Our relationships with others are only as emotionally healthy, happy, holy and content as our relationships with ourselves. Many people have struggled to build genuine relationships not because they are bad people but because they are yet to have healthy self-relationships.

Ask yourself, Am I my best friend? Can I stand myself? If I met me at a function, would I want to engage me in a conversation? Would I want to take me out for coffee? As idealistic and even amusing as it may sound, it is a line of thinking that we should consider taking every once in a while. Then we can start to fully understand and embrace ourselves for who we are.

This is practical journey to self discovery gently prepares you to understand, listen and celebrate the person you are, ultimately giving you a better chance at genuine relationships where you can share yourself without losing sight of your identity.

Meet yourself

As with any first meeting, you may be shy, even anxious at the thought of coming face to face with yourself. You may fidget a little under the table and want to comment on superficial things such as the weather. Feelings may vary from excitement to vulnerability, the thought of calling off the meeting constantly on your mind. Often people are afraid to get in touch with their true self, afraid of the unknown, afraid that they will not like themselves any better. They are afraid to meet their imperfections and dysfunctions. They unconsciously hide behind the busyness of life such as careers, academics, parenting and so on. Others get behind the crowd and get immersed in social and anti social activities, losing their true identity. The challenge is to be bold enough to come out of the cocoon and meet yourself, discover your true self, shed off every layer that you have been hiding under, reveal your true identity to a point where you can genuinely look at yourself in the eye and say ‘it’s a pleasure to finally meet you’

Listen to yourself

Take time to listen to your life. The feedback you get from your daily experiences gives you a good opportunity to get to know yourself better. In a fast paced world, it is easy for you to go round in circles for a long time, unaware of the cries or laughter within. Randolph, a mountaineer had his leg amputated shortly after coming down the Himalayas. A small pebble had slipped into his boot and slowly eaten into his foot, causing it to swell up and develop an infection. Due to the excitement of the excursion and the determination to reach the peak, he ignored the pain and continued climbing. The low temperatures also numbed his foot and eased the pain a little but when he finally got down and removed his shoe; his right foot was completely dead. As he lay down on his hospital bed after a two hour surgery, all he could say was ‘I wish I had listened’. Stop and listen to your heartbeat. Listen to what you are saying and even more keenly to what you are not saying.

• Listen to your silent emptiness; it’s the voice of your inner quest for fulfillment.
• Listen to your joy; it’s a sign of something you need to cultivate
• Listen to your pain; it’s a sign of something that you need to correct.
• Listen to your dreams and hopes; it’s a sign of something you need to pursue
• Listen to your fears; it’s a sign of something you need to confront.

Understand yourself

Fellowship is the strength of a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the stronger your friendship becomes. The same principle applies to self relationships. The more time you spend alone, thinking, planning, imagining, the more you get to understand yourself. To help you achieve quality personal time, the first step is to regularly isolate yourself from the crowd and turn off every external noise. Develop a self concept document. Write everything you can about yourself; your strengths, weakness, hopes, dreams, feelings, frustrations and aspirations. Whatever you find, do not back away from the process, remember you are trying to understand who you are so that you can relate better with yourself. Look at the document and determine what habits need to go, what needs to be strengthened and what needs to be learned. Understanding yourself is a process, the more you spend time alone with God, the more get to know who you are.

Celebrate yourself

You have been beating yourself for far too long, putting yourself down, feeling and thinking that you do not measure up. It’s time to celebrate you. Celebrate the person that God created; celebrate your personality, your uniqueness, your potential and your strengths. Celebrate the bat ears and the wide beautiful eyes alike. You too are special, you have self worth. Appreciating who you are and not wanting to be someone else is a wonderful gift to yourself. Let the world know and see the real you, no one else suits your place.

Share yourself

You have something special to share, may be you have time, a special skill, money or ideas, someone out there will greatly benefit from them. Science agrees with the spiritual truth that people who share themselves are happier than those who don’t. It’s ironical how selfless people live a fulfilling happy life while selfish people live an empty life. Share yourself by investing time, resources and energy in people. As you do so, more of you will be revealed. You will be surprised at how much precious treasure is locked within you.