THERE IS A DRESSING THAT 'SEAMS' RIGHT...

The Poison in the Fashion Industry...and its Antidote

It starts with a simple question. Who are you wearing? This I believe can fall under the FAQ (frequently asked questions) at any major fashion event, award ceremony or red carpet across the US, France, China, Milan, London and any other destination that is big on fashion.

More often than not, the outfit in question is a long evening gown with a thigh high slit, open back and revealing cleavage. In other words, the wearer is more undressed than they are dressed, portraying fashion as more about undressing than dressing.  And when they mention ‘whom they are wearing’ the particular dress is duplicated and sold around the world as the one so and so wore at the Oscars or Grammy’s. When it seems right the fashion industry thrives.

And so, the poison of indecent dressing spills from the red carpet to hundreds of closets around the world. Thus, the red carpet becomes the floor that principalities use to tell the rest of the world what to wear.

The fashion industry is a sensual industry. It thrives on people’s feelings and need to look and feel a certain way. It prospers because people will always come back for more; fashion seems to create an insatiable quest that can never be fulfilled. Fashion has come to symbolize vanity, materialism and extravagance.

Fashion is intentional. Nothing is by chance about any given design. Principalities that influence the world of fashion have studied people with the intention of influencing them. How do you explain an era of miniskirts, another of leggings, another of low cleavage and yet another or high slits? How do you explain that when these trends hit the street, you meet hundreds of people wearing the same exact outfit, whether it works with their body or not? Is the fashion industry not trying to make slaves of people who follow trends without reasoning with it? Does it not want to create a people who will put on whatever it calls up-to-the-minute, cool, and modern without debating its intention?

If I designed an outfit today, my intention would be to express God’s creativity which is beautiful but also respectful. When the principalities influence a design, what is their intention? 

Fashion lies.  It plays with the very words that many people crave to be described with. When words such as the’ image of perfection, alluring, sexy, confident, she knows herself’ describe celebrities that are indecently dressed, many people looking for approval swallow the pill. They figure that if they can dress that way, then they will come off as confident or as images of perfection…and more.

Many people look to fashion to feel complete, to build their low self esteem or to cover up their real struggles. The industry takes advantage of hurting broken hearts by lying to them that this ‘hourte courtre, avante garde, trendy, hot, cool, modern, up-to-the-minute, winter, fall, summer and spring collection’ will complete them. It never does. It further empties their soul and their pockets too.

Fashion giants use the influence and power that celebrities have over people by dressing them in whatever they want to sell. You may look at an outfit and wonder what the designer was thinking when he produced it. But since they are big names who influence the trends and determine what is fashion-forward, whatever they produce is endorsed. Many celebrities and models around the world do not mind flaunting their bodies to the public and so gladly accept to model for the fashion houses. Here, image is exalted at the expense of character.

As the world applause and celebrates the fashion houses and its models, the weapon that was fashioned against people’s minds prospers skyrocketing all kinds of sexual and moral decadence. Identities are lost as young people seek to look like their ‘idols’, fulfilling the scripture in Proverbs 16:25 There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. When the media splash and praise these clothes, it seems right to them, but in the end, it ends up breaking lives, homes and societies.

That is the poison within the fashion industry.

Fashion in itself is not an evil thing. It is indeed an expression of God’s multidimensional creativity.  When God wanted garments made for his priests in ancient Israel, he gave the artists of the day a spirit of wisdom to make outfits for beauty and for glory. (Ex 28:2). Indeed, Exodus 28 gives a painstaking description of the design, fabric and bling that were to be used on Aaron’s priestly garment.

Apart from been ministered to by priests that looked good, he also wanted to communicate the beauty, excellence, holiness and purity on the calling of a priest which was embodied by Christ in the days to come. In Proverbs 31woman went for both beauty and fine quality when it came to clothing, and her manner brought praise to God and her family. But as it is with everything beautiful that God created, the enemy has turned this one around for his own destructive purposes.

Slogans such as ‘dress to kill’, ‘dress to impress’ and ‘beautiful to death’ are self-fulfilling prophecies as they literally kill the moral fiber in society. When people fail to dress responsibly, many minds are corrupted, both young and old.

If fashion began with the creator, then we Christians should reclaim it. As it is with marriage and business and every other institution that God created, we should engage the fashion industry in an endeavor to produce clothing for beauty and glory, clothing that perfectly fulfills its purpose. The many Christians gifted in fashion design ought to tap into the mind of Christ and bring out the most beautiful design ideas the world has ever seen.  Designs that communicate the spirit of excellence and purity while fulfilling the purposes of dressing.

At the same time, we should mind how we dress today. Decent clothing is readily available. People around us should never have to feel embarrassed when they look at us. The images that we put in their minds are powerful and they reproduce after their kind. We therefore have a responsibility to dress decently so as to protect their minds. If we saw and treated people around us as brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, then we can accord them the same respect and boundary (1Tim 5)

The secular world cannot promise to dress well, secular media cannot promise not to show offensive images. But we can. We can dress smart, fashionably but modestly. All we need is a strong godly mind that is able to walk away from indecent trends, a mind that refuses to conform to the dressing of the world just because something is in fashion. Let’s not look up to the world to tell us what is in and what is out in the fashion world, instead, let us judge what is trending based on its excellent design and spirit of purity. One thing I know for sure is that fashion will always come and go but decent dressing will never go out of fashion!

Self Denial - The Antidote against Selfishness

  

More Alive in Christ when Dead to Self

The monster called self-centeredness first showed up in Heaven, the most unlikely location. This was when a multi-gifted Angel named Lucifer suddenly realized that he too could be worshiped. After all, he was most beautiful and had the ability to make awesome music without even trying. Why not get the other Angels like Gabriel the messenger and Michael the warrior, who were just normal looking and sounding to bow down to him, he probably mused.

For you have said in your heart: 'I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High’. (Isa 14:13-14)

As Heaven would not have it, Lucifer ate his own words on his way down together with those that had bought into his selfish idea. That was the birth of self-centeredness, as we know it today. Clearly, the devil had a problem letting someone else lead. He wanted to be the one on top. He had what is commonly known as the ‘I’ problem.

Notice the number of times he used the word ‘I’ in the verses above - five times! And he does not give up. He had to spread this sickness so he went on a nature walk at the Garden of Eden. Here the devil cunningly convinces Eve to sin against God, to seek their own and be free of God. One of the results of eating the forbidden fruit was that they would be like gods, knowing good and evil and probably be worshiped. From the verse in Isaiah, we know who wanted to be like God;’ I will be like the Most High’ Satan had said and since he did not get the opportunity, he was still trying to get man to overthrow God by being like God.

Thus, when Jesus came to redeem a lost world, the mission profile was to slay down this particular monster, the self nature. This he did with accurate precision and excellence. You see, Jesus had studied this monster for thousands of years. He knew how, when and who it attacked. He knew the way it looked, talked and walked. He knew its ammo and camouflage, its hideouts and sniper positions. So, like the army commander he is, he prepared to take it down. And when the epic battle was staged, it took many by surprise, the devil and his camp included for it was a far cry from the military prowess Kings had shown in the past. He fought it and won by dying on the cross and descending to hell.

The Holy Trinity in their manifold wisdom knew that to triumph over this particular enemy, they needed to give it what it hated most – selflessness. This was the only antidote that would deal a fatal blow on the monster self. Jesus climbed on a cross and died, he lay down his life that we could have life; he denied himself so that we could have all we needed, he suffered so that we could be healed – he did everything that was contrary to the self nature and by doing so subdued it.

Ironically, Satan demanded worship, Jesus laid down his life, he demanded to ascend into heaven, and Jesus descended into hell. (Isa 14:13-14) In essence, Jesus did the opposite of what Satan had done and so triumphed over him.

This grand shocker is recoded in Colossians 2:15.

Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.

And this is the example that our Lord Jesus set for all who wish to follow him.  He taught that it is possible to put self under subjection by denying it the power it so craves. Clearly, the battle of the flesh is only won at death and that is what he calls us to. Like Jesus, we are to let the self nature die, not once but daily. (Luke 9:23)

Throughout his ministry here on earth, Jesus was relentless on the subject of self denial. The man in Mathew 19:22 wanted to follow Jesus but could not when Jesus told him to sell his possessions and follow him. Did Jesus really expect a rich man adorned in gold, living in a luxurious mansion with hot running water and servants at his  beck and call to leave all that and follow him? How was he going to adapt to sleeping wherever night found him, literally go fishing for a meal, transverse villages stepping on cow and camel droppings all without his cheque book? Indeed, over his dead body! But Jesus did more than that. He left streets of gold in exchange for dry and dusty paths, he put his God-like form aside and wore human skin made of mud, he left comforts unimaginable, such that have no earthly comparison so that he could save the world.

But that is exactly where Jesus wants us, where nothing is too precious to lose, where no position is too high to relinquish, where no one is too close to stand in the way. This is the place of victory.

As we continue in the battle against self, we can get deliberate. Whenever we feel a need to be ‘worshiped’ for our amazing gifts, positions, beauty or wealth, let us develop an instinct to do just the opposite, like Jesus did. Let us subdue the monster within by doing unto others as we would like them to do unto us. Let us;

Serve those that we feel and know should serve us

Compliment those that we feel should compliment us

Cheer those that we feel should cheer us

Give attention to those we think should give us

Acknowledge those that we feel should acknowledge us

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE

How do you treat your marriage? Are you generous to it? Do you take the initiative to add fun, flavour and fire into it or have you settled for the norm while your marriage could have been extraordinary? 

Apart from marriage being a divine institution that requires the hand of God, there are many things that you can do to enrich your marriage. One such aspect is  be to deliberately great to your marriage, to give it special care and attention. 
With busy work schedules, parenting and numerous social engagements, a couple can easily neglect their marriage and fail to give it the attention that it deserves. When this happens, marriage becomes lackluster. But you can change that by purposing to spice up your marriage. Add interesting and creative activities into it and rekindle the love and laughter every day of the week. Here are a few suggestions.

Love Everywhere

Call your spouse at work or at home or send him or her sweet text messages or emails. This is always a much appreciated gesture. It leaves your spouse feeling loved, appreciated and makes them know that you are thinking about them. Love notes or small cards can be slipped into the handbag, pockets, wallets, under the pillow among other strategic places. Imagine the nice feeling when your partner receives them. Here is a perfect example of a wife who knew just where to keep such notes. Keith was anxious about the presentation he was due to give in the next half hour. The company he worked for was pitching to a multinational and it was Keith’s biggest presentation and his bosses’ were expecting him to close the deal. His wife Claire was aware of how important this was to him and how hard he had worked. Before Keith left for the office, she slipped a sweet love note inside his laptop and another inside his dairy. Unaware, Keith opened his laptop only to find a lovely uplifting message from his wife. He smiled boldly and felt as though he had already gotten halfway through. He found the other note while retrieving some information from his diary, as the multinational representatives walked into the boardroom. The second love note boosted his confidence even higher and he gave a brilliant presentation. His company got the deal; his wife got the dinner, the flowers and the chocolate. Awesome!

Love in Action

Acts that show your partner that you love and care are an effective way to fire up your marriage. At a recent married couple’s dinner, the host asked couples to share their top secret recipe that spices up their marriage. One young couple revealed how they play pretend (right in their bedroom) as professional masseuse and give each other a full body massage. The husband continued. ‘It starts off with a fake phone call to the massage salon where I request for a full body massage. They send me a masseuse who happens to be my wife. She drives over, takes me through the various packages and the cost for each. I agree to all the terms and she goes on to perform the massage. After a tiring day at work, this is utter bliss. Playing pretend adds laughter as we try not to mix business with pleasure, which is a very hard task’ he concluded with a shy smile.

Beautiful Words

Words of appreciation and admiration have such a powerful effect they leave your partner feeling confident all day. Begin the day with words of praise to your husband or wife and look out for the smile or blush. Lovingly appreciate your wife for preparing a refreshing breakfast. Affirm your husband’s driving skills. Words such as ‘I appreciate how well you provide for our family’ boosts your husband’s morale a thousand times over and drives him to go the extra mile for his appreciative wife. Let your wife know how much you appreciate her care towards the children and the home. Even if a career woman, sincerely appreciate her input and any other positive traits. Do not forget to admire your spouse’s physical appearance, a new dress, a tie or a hairstyle that looks good on them. You can never go wrong with sweet words of praise.

Love in a Letter

Write a letter to your sweetheart and tell them why you would marry him or her all over again. Tell them how much they mean to you, how much you have enjoyed the time you have been together (despite hi-cups that every marriage faces) and how much you want to continue sharing your life and love with him or her. In short, share your feelings, your dreams and hopes. This is the part where you avoid bringing up the bad memories as your spouse will want to keep the letter to read in the future and will not want bad memories tagging along.

Delightful Friday

Choose a night when you can stay late and watch your wedding video alone, preferably in the bedroom. Look through your wedding pictures and savor the memories etched within. Gather other items such as birthday cards, love letters and gifts items you exchanged during your courtship and enjoy the beautiful recollection. Listen to the music that played on your wedding day and put on your wedding gown for your husband to remember. Turn the evening into a delightful one. If possible, go back to your honeymoon destination and request to be given the exact suite you shared during your stay. This kind of activity gives a couple the opportunities to reflect on their marriage, recommit themselves to one another as well as heal a wounded heart. It is a sure way to rekindle the love that you shared during your courtship and earlier days of your marriage.

Step in the name of love

The aroma of steaming coffee and pancakes fills your bedroom. You think you are having a sweet dream until you hear your children talking excitedly. It’s Sunday morning and your help does not come in today. You turn to tell your husband that someone has been kind enough to prepare breakfast only to find him gone. You jump out of bed and are met by a clean and tidy house, breakfast ready and served, clean dishes and happy children. Imagine the special feeling in your heart; the smile and the tears of joy that you so want to hide. You cannot help but feel loved and appreciated. As you sip your coffee, you look at your husband lovingly, silently planning to reciprocate this act of love with something he will never forget. What’s your spouse’s routine? Washing the car? Cooking? These routines are tiring and can get dull. Once in a while, in the spirit of love, step into your spouse’s shoes; send them off to rest while you take care of things. This helps you appreciate the effort they put in their chores while at the same time gives your spouse much needed rest. They will come back energized and feeling good.

The list of ideas on how to spice up your marriage is endless; all it needs is a little creativity and imagination. From dinner reservations to simple surprise gifts, there is so much you can do for your marriage that will accelerate its growth and bring you closer, add joy and fulfillment. Do not procrastinate; do not wait to have a lump some money or a big idea, in a committed marriage relationship, the simple things count just as much as the grand. Do something great for your marriage today.

WHEN HORNS LOCK

...Let them lock!

My friend Tania had had enough of her older brother trying to run her life. ‘It is so unfair for him to keep telling me off like this…she said angrily. 

‘What is it this time?’ I asked, concerned. 

‘My brother thinks that instead of pursuing my love for cooking, I should do bee keeping. ..’ I laughed and then apologized. 

Then she continued…’just because he has money does not give him the right to decide what I should do with my life. I am gifted in this field and I will pursue it with all I have, even if he does not give me a dime!’ Tania was obviously very angry, and she had every right to be. 

Her brother had once again downplayed her desires to pursue catering which she always excelled in and instead gave her a quick fix…rear pigs and bees, they have good money. But for her, it was not just about the money, it was about her passion and the direction she wanted her life to take. 

I had personally seen Tania turn an ordinary meal into a sumptuous delicacy and I knew she was gifted. However, upon asking her older brother to give her some little capital to set up her business, he instead gave her his idea of what she should pursue.

This kind of scene happens to many people, especially to young people who are still dependent on their parents, sibling or sponsors. Usually, it is a case of a passionate youth who has a vision and has figured out what they want to do in life, locking horns with a parent who wants them to tow the family profession or another authoritative figure in their life asking them to take a certain career move because it’s the most rewarding, financially. 

I agree that there is a need to counsel and offer career advice to young people as this usually helps them make informed decisions before pursuing a particular path. However, the problem sets in when the guardian completely takes over and insists on a particular direction, completely ignoring the other side. 

You see, when God created us, he placed special gifts and abilities in us that would enable us to be productive in life. He backed this up with a great passion to pursue our vision and be what he designed us to be. 

Every time someone is forced by another or by circumstances to pursue a path that is contrary to their vision, the gifts in them are underutilized and become a waste at the end of the day. Have you ever wondered why some people seem so dissatisfied, so unfulfilled and so unhappy, dragging themselves to and from work, counting down to home time, and serving clients grudgingly at work? 

More often than not, they are not in their fort, they are not doing what they passionately would have wanted to do, their real identity is caged, they are doing what they have to do not what they would love to do. Their gifts and strengths do not necessarily apply in their current job and so they feel wasted. 

They are disconnected from their natural element.

Guardians to young visionaries need to start giving them an opportunity to pursue their real passion. Where possible, they should support them financially and mentor them until they achieve their dreams. 
They should not be obsessed with the desire to raise duplicates; rather they should sacrifice their own preferences to see someone become what they were meant to be.

Should you find yourself in this situation, know that you will have to fight for your place in the circle of life. No one will give it to you on a silver platter, many will do only what is convenient for them. It is up to you to push to get where you want to be. 

HOW LOVE WINS

       ONE DAY WITH THE KING

The jovial and hopeful smile was no longer there. In its place was a long gloomy face covered with stress lines and sunken teary eyes. My days too were dark and long and my nights flooded with tears. Basic needs such as food, rent, school fees and clothing were hard to come by and I was in serious debt. My health too was fleeting away. I remember passing by a blood donation center and submitting myself to donate some blood; I desperately wanted to do something good. Upon checking my blood level, the attendant informed me that I could not donate. He advised me to feed well and rest.  I was devastated, but I knew it was true. My once fitting trousers and skirts were now sagging. I was depleted and not just physically but spiritually and mentally too.

Believing to find a better day, I moved from job to job, but none of them worked. They all came with great promises and delivered nothing. I deeply longed for a new day in my life, I longed for peace, happiness and for the assurance that things were going to be okay. I looked for solutions everywhere, from empty bottles, purposeless relationships and worthless work, all of them left me broken, broke and disgusted.

Then I reached my breaking point. I could not go on like this any longer. Things had to change, and change for the better.

Completely hopeless and helpless, and with no other choice, someone pointed the Palace to me. I was ready to give anything and anyone a chance in exchange for a better day, just one perfect day in my life. I made my way to the Palace. The high gates were well guarded but no one stopped me. On the contrary, the guards ushered me in like a valued visitor. 

As fragile as I was, I started walking down the aisle towards the throne where the King was seated surrounded by his servants. Upon seeing me, the King in his grace and majesty arose. He looked at me with such warmth I wanted to run into his arms and never leave but I was afraid. I felt I did not deserve to be in his presence. But as I got nearer to the throne, the King took a step towards me and stretched out his scepter. I knew instantly that he accepted me as I was; I was finally in good hands. I touched the scepter and fell into his warm embrace for an eternal hug. His warmth filled my stone cold body. His peace flooded my disturbed mind as he run his fingers through my hair. His heartbeat, beating against my racing one calmed me down as my tears soaked his royal gown. 

I had never known such peace, such joy and an overwhelming sense of freedom and belonging. Then with the softest of whispers, he breathed into my ear ‘welcome home child’. I never wanted to leave, I never did.

With his arm around my waist, he took me round the Palace to show me everything he had stored up for me.  The promise of peace, joy and health, a great marriage, a thriving and impacting ministry, a life of purpose and prosperity were mine to have. My eyes welled up with tears at the thought of how much I had taken myself through, how much I had led a self-life while there was so much for me to enjoy and to give.

That day, as I walked out of the Palace gates, my step had a new bounce; my heart resonated with a new song,of hope,of hope,of renewal. My mind was filled with all the great ideas I was going to explore and fulfill. My spirit had been reborn and with it a brand new life. My one day with the King had given my entire life meaning, and I was going to live it up!

'I AINT MAD AT YA!!!'

              

                 Celebrating the Love of God
I was greatly inspired by Joyce Meyers teaching this afternoon. She was emphasizing on the importance of knowing for sure that God is not mad at us. We sometimes take ourselves on guilt trips when we feel we have failed God but forget that he does not love us for our great deeds but because of one fact, we are his children, the apple of his eye, his beloved.

When a baby takes his or her first steps, we celebrate and tell our friends and relatives. When the baby falls on the third or fourth step, do we jeer? No,we help them up again while our focus remains on the victory more than the failure. We remain optimistic. God does the same with us. He and his Host in Heaven celebrate our victory and lift us up when we fail. He does not say, aaaaahhhh.....You fell!!! and puts on a sad face. He loves us when we are up and when we are down and that is sure recipe to propel towards been better everyday.

Next time you are feeling unworthy, guilty, or even unloved, tell yourself this words, ' He loves me with an everlasting love' and step back into the game. He sure is pleased when we acknowledge his undying love for us. He ain't mad at you

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

A STEP TOWARDS PERSONAL GROWTH AND ADVANCEMENT
 
Do you feel like you have been round the same mountain so many times you have mastered every curve, steep and shrub? Do you long to get ahead but something seems to hold you back?  Have you ever considered that YOU could be your greatest obstacle to a better more fulfilling life? Take a personal inventory and find out. There are many ways in which people stand on their own way and on the way of God’s blessings. In this article, I highlights six effective ways designed to steer you out of your own way and create room for your personal growth and advancement.
 
Drop the Negative Attitude
The saying is true; when life throws lemons at you, make lemonade. Try to make the best out of every situation that comes your way. Do not go through life looking on the down side. Do not have phrases like ‘bored to death’ or ‘life sucks’ as your favourite posts on Facebook and Tweeter. No matter the circumstances, try as much as possible to put on a positive attitude. Think about it; a negative attitude will only draw to you negative circumstances, pessimistic people and lots of unpleasant experiences, but with the right attitude, you can turn around the greatest odds set against you. Remember, your attitude determines your altitude.
 
Leave Past Failures in the Past
Do not allow your past failures to dictate your present or future aspirations. Dump them like a tattered piece of cloth and put on a brand new day. Avoid using your life’s side mirror too much as it shows you where you are coming from, befriend the windscreen, it shows you where you are headed in a ‘wide’ way, just as long as it is the right way. Let your dreams and hopes thrive within the matrix of new possibilities, not a regretful yesterday. Most important, learn from your mistakes. Remember, success is built on a heap of failures.
 
Clean up your Act
Kick out habits that clog mental and spiritual clarity and compromise emotional stability. Things like alcohol, infidelity and other forms of immoral behaviour corrupt your judgement and make you unprepared for life’s opportunities and challenges. Replace such habits with good ones. Use your time wisely focusing on important life aspects. Seek to discover your purpose and pursue it. Integrate spiritual and emotional intelligence into your daily program and build meaningful relationships. Prepare yourself to receive the best.
 
Pop up Power Thoughts
Pause for a moment and think about what you are thinking about.  Are your thoughts negative and hopeless communicating ideals that are contrary to your inner desires? Do they agree with what God says about you? Make effort to consciously reject and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Find out from the Bible what God says about you, your situations and your loved ones and choose to think on those truths. Philippians 4: 8 is a good place to start. Do it relentlessly until you achieve mastery of your thought patterns. With time you will reap the fruits of positive thinking and find yourself achieving so much more in life.
 
Change your Lingo 
Are you speaking a dead language? Do you use negative words to water down your positive desires? Phrases such as ‘I will never make it’ ‘things are hard’ ‘am not good enough’ have been known to keep people down for years. Words carry enough power to shape your world or destroy it. How will you use yours? I encourage you yo start choosing words that light up your spirit and soul and build hope in you and others.  Remember, life and death is in the power of the tongue; your words have the power to keep you wedged or liberated.
 
Stir up the Nest
When the time comes for the young eagle to leave the nest, the mother eagle turns the fluffy warm nest into a prickly cold one, by removing the feathers and replacing with thorns. Harsh as it may seem, mother eagle lovingly does so to steer the young ones out of the nest and into their destiny. If you find that you are in a comfort zone, determine to stir it up yourself. For instant, if you are excessively dependent on others or life is been spoon-fed to you, break off and face the real world. Remember, necessity is the mother of invention; when you are on your own, you will be surprised at how much you can achieve. Besides, it is a perfect opportunity to find out what God equipped you with.