WHEN HORNS LOCK

...Let them lock!

My friend Tania had had enough of her older brother trying to run her life. ‘It is so unfair for him to keep telling me off like this…she said angrily. 

‘What is it this time?’ I asked, concerned. 

‘My brother thinks that instead of pursuing my love for cooking, I should do bee keeping. ..’ I laughed and then apologized. 

Then she continued…’just because he has money does not give him the right to decide what I should do with my life. I am gifted in this field and I will pursue it with all I have, even if he does not give me a dime!’ Tania was obviously very angry, and she had every right to be. 

Her brother had once again downplayed her desires to pursue catering which she always excelled in and instead gave her a quick fix…rear pigs and bees, they have good money. But for her, it was not just about the money, it was about her passion and the direction she wanted her life to take. 

I had personally seen Tania turn an ordinary meal into a sumptuous delicacy and I knew she was gifted. However, upon asking her older brother to give her some little capital to set up her business, he instead gave her his idea of what she should pursue.

This kind of scene happens to many people, especially to young people who are still dependent on their parents, sibling or sponsors. Usually, it is a case of a passionate youth who has a vision and has figured out what they want to do in life, locking horns with a parent who wants them to tow the family profession or another authoritative figure in their life asking them to take a certain career move because it’s the most rewarding, financially. 

I agree that there is a need to counsel and offer career advice to young people as this usually helps them make informed decisions before pursuing a particular path. However, the problem sets in when the guardian completely takes over and insists on a particular direction, completely ignoring the other side. 

You see, when God created us, he placed special gifts and abilities in us that would enable us to be productive in life. He backed this up with a great passion to pursue our vision and be what he designed us to be. 

Every time someone is forced by another or by circumstances to pursue a path that is contrary to their vision, the gifts in them are underutilized and become a waste at the end of the day. Have you ever wondered why some people seem so dissatisfied, so unfulfilled and so unhappy, dragging themselves to and from work, counting down to home time, and serving clients grudgingly at work? 

More often than not, they are not in their fort, they are not doing what they passionately would have wanted to do, their real identity is caged, they are doing what they have to do not what they would love to do. Their gifts and strengths do not necessarily apply in their current job and so they feel wasted. 

They are disconnected from their natural element.

Guardians to young visionaries need to start giving them an opportunity to pursue their real passion. Where possible, they should support them financially and mentor them until they achieve their dreams. 
They should not be obsessed with the desire to raise duplicates; rather they should sacrifice their own preferences to see someone become what they were meant to be.

Should you find yourself in this situation, know that you will have to fight for your place in the circle of life. No one will give it to you on a silver platter, many will do only what is convenient for them. It is up to you to push to get where you want to be.